I can’t tell you how many times I’ve failed at changing.
Overhauling my life at 2am, to suffering with a severe hangover, and telling myself I’ll never do that again (only to repeat it the next week).
There’s no worse feeling than being stuck in the cycle of making promises to yourself, feeling motivated for 2 days, but soon stopping.
Knowing deep down you can’t help but give up.
Setting life-changing goals always fails when your identity doesn’t fit with someone who naturally achieves them.
We know from James Clear that changing your identity involves altering your beliefs, assumptions, and biases.
Consciously choosing who you want to be, and ruthlessly taking action to prove to yourself that you are that person right now.
However, the human nervous system is a b*tch.
It’s doesn’t sell (which is why no one has told you about it), but your nervous system is your actual constraint.
Do not take this next sentence lightly.
If you want a certain outcome in life, you must have your nervous system, energy, and thought processes aligned to create that outcome long before you achieve it.
So whether you want to transform your body, upgrade your mind, or start your business without hitting the same roadblocks, I want to share with you 3 ideas you probably haven’t heard of before so you can do exactly that.
I — Nervous System Regulation
“Our brains are plastic, and we have the ability to change and shape them throughout our entire lives.”— Antoine Buteau
If you want to change, you must begin at your nervous system so that you can begin to reprogram it.
Your nervous system is responsible for stress and energy (amongst other processes) which influences your thoughts and feelings.
Because the quality of your life cannot be greater than the level of your thoughts and feelings, we need to start by inspecting our nervous system.
Neuroplasticity means your nervous system constantly reshapes, adapts, and reorganises based on stimuli from your environment, your current experience, or stress.
Depending on the stimuli, you either improve your cognitive function, stress response, and quality of life, or increase stress, stiffness, and pain.
Enhancing and directing the power of neuroplasticity towards a positive outcome is a superpower most people aren’t aware they have.
If your nervous system is misaligned, you can’t access your body’s natural guidance system. Communication between brain and body shuts down.
You enter survival mode.
You lose gut-level intuition.
You lose autonomy and a sense of control over your life.
Trying to fix your life while stuck in a stressed nervous system is like sprinting Mt. Everest without oxygen or poles. Impossible.
I can feed you a list of tools to calm your nervous system, alter behaviour, and reduce stress response, (check our letter on the vagus nerve), but if you try to move matter with matter you’re only using 50% of your capacity.
Instead, you must look inside your body and harness energy to elicit change.
That is what the next section is for.
By the way, everything in this letter is part of the Apex Protocol. If you want the direct support to implement it, book a free 20-minute strategy call here.
II — Your Body Knows Best
“Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves.”— Bessel A. van der Kolk
Let me ask you a question: are you in tune with your body?
What sensations are you feeling right now?
Are you relaxed?
Is your chest tight?
Does your gut feel off?
Most people lack awareness of their inner bodies. They’re 100% occupied with thoughts or events happening outside of them. They are wholly fixated on their minds and miss out on body-level insights via sensations in the gut, heart, and chest (which filter your true preferences from the superficial).
The first step to understanding your body is to know that where you place your attention is where you place your energy.
I don’t mean energy in a ‘woo-woo’ hippie level. No. I mean that sh*t that sustains you. That breathes life into your existence. Which makes you feel inspired, playful, and joyful. Without energy you are without life (even if you’re breathing).
“The more fully we give our energy, the more it returns to us.”— Gautama Buddha
You may not realise it, but your thoughts direct and create energy. To prove this, try these 2 experiments below. Notice how you feel before, during, and afterwards:
1) Close your eyes, imagine something you hate:
Ruminate why you feel that way. Continue to think that way, notice your heart rate, your stress levels, the sensations around your gut, chest, arms. If you’re like most people, your body just flooded with stress hormones, your heart rate is elevated, and you’re ready for fight or flight (without a real external threat).
2) Again, close your eyes and imagine something you love:
Something that makes you feel happy. It could be a loved one, an activity, a song, anything. Allow yourself to smile, feel the joy in your body. Focus on your heart and allow the feeling to spread across your body. Breathe slow and deep into your belly.
How do you feel now?
What did you notice?
You used your mind to change your body and alter your nervous system.
If you continue this practice you would start to think and feel in a different manner, which would change your actions and behaviours, which will change the trajectory of your life.
However, most people lack awareness of their bodies and their thoughts to create a long-term change.
They’re attached to random thoughts about past experiences. This brings about a chemical and emotional response in the body (as if the experience is happening now). Flooding your body with stress hormones, elevating your heart rate, and preparing yourself to flee.
If you seek the truth, you will know what’s going on in your mind and body.
How do you increase awareness?
How do you tune into your body and mind?
How do you create changes in matter that alter the trajectory of your life?
Through the simple, but painful act of noticing.
Something that few people do, and you can tell by how they approach complex topics or how they respond to stress.
Noticing is both thinking and non-thinking, and very few people do it.
I want to give you a framework you can complete during the day to help change your life. However, it’s going to make the letter far too long so you can grab it here instead.
Now we have 1 last piece to make this all click together. Keep going.
III — Cultivating Infinite Energy
“The modern mind is overstimulated and the modern body is understimulated and overfed. Meditation, exercise, and fasting restore an ancient balance.” — Naval Ravikant
Analysing our thought patterns, dissecting our nervous system, and working with our bodies are major components of a fulfilling life which society fails to teach you.
However, to truly change our lives we also need to change our physiology.
Yes, thought-directed exercises work well; visualisation, NSDR, mental rehearsal…
But you can’t think or feel your way into energy your haven’t created.
Sometimes your body needs combustion rocket fuel and a lighter to get started, rather than unleaded gas and a weak push.
Training is the fastest way to generate that energy to make that possible.
For me, transforming my life has always begun with transforming my health. 3 years ago I stopped drinking, and launched into a season of physical development. Cycling 6,000KM across Asia, running 10-40kms regularly, and training for my 1st Muay Thai fight.
This gave me limitless energy to attack my goals outside of training with focus, energy, and determination.
Unlike other forms of self-development, training provides you with immediate feedback.
You instantly feel strong, lean, and capable.
You feel alert from the 4x levels of baseline cortisol from lifting weights.
You feel euphoric and provide a positive stressor to your nervous system.
If we’re always calm and relaxed, we’re less tolerant to stress, and small stressors may feel bigger than they really are. You need eustress, not distress.
You don’t need to become a fighter, or an endurance runner to make this a reality, you only need a minimum viable health plan.
You want to keep this simple, effective, and energising.
Look for the principles to help you 80/20 you health and adjust them to your situation.
For example:
- Training: 2-3x a week at the gym (strength, hypertrophy & mobility), 7-10K steps, 1-3 cardio sessions.
- Diet: Caloric goal for your weight goal, 500+ grams fruits/ veg a day, 0.6-1g protein per lb of bodyweight a day, hydrate, supplements, etc
- Sleep: 7-9 hours a day. Cold, dark, quiet room. No phones 1 hour before bed. Brain dump in a journal. Finish eating 2-3 hours before sleep
- Downregulate nervous system: NSDR, belly breathing, stretching, warm shower, magnesium, etc.
The goal is to make choices automatic — so you naturally take actions which lead you towards being a healthy and energetic person (because that’s just who you are).
That’s how you fix your life, for real this time.
Treat your body with the care it needs and everything else follows.
Thanks you reading, I’ll see you in the next one.
— Matthew.
P.S. If you want to fix what’s holding your body and mind back, and build the physical foundation to actually change your life — book a free 20-minute strategy call here for our Apex Coaching Program.